I am, Who I am..

I'm not hot or gorgeous, I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model because of my height, But I'm me.. I eat a lot of carbs, I eat sweets as long as I want, I have curves, I have more fat than I should, I have scars, I have a history, some people love me, some people like me, some hates me, I have done good, I have done bad, I love wearing my pambahay outfit (loose t-shirt and shorts), and I go without makeup, my hair is a mess while my face is super duper oily, I'm random and I'm crazy. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am. You can love me or not. I won't change, and If I love you, I do it with my heart. I make no apologies for the way I am..



MissKrissyLav..

Still In PAIN, pero kelangan ko na mag MOVE-ON

Yes I admit, I'm still in pain..

this is my 3rd time na nasaktan ako, But this time it's really different as in sobra yun pain na nararamdaman ko, I dunno how to say this to him, I don't know kng pano mawawala yun pain na nararamdaman ko..

So I decided to make a blog for Him especially yun feelings ko sa kanya..

Wala kame commitment or whatsoever pero he treated me so special.

So Here's the story..

Nagsimula lahat nun Baptism sa Frat namen, siyempre kelangan magpakilala sa mga co-neos exchanging details, Then Prinivate message nya ako to ask my number, siyempre binigay ko naman since magiging Bro/Sis kame eh, So yun nga, wala pang 10minutes pagkabigay ng number ko, nagtext na siya, So ayun nagpakilala siya, Tapos He's asking me kung pwde tawagan ako, Sabi ko ayaw ko naman dahil hindi naman kame close para magtawagan..

So 1st week na ng Initiation, Since half sis na ako, hindi na ako kasali sa formation, Pero inassign kame sa isang task na gumawa ng Music video, Kaya ayun gumawa kame w/ my other sister, after nun nagkakakwentuhan na kame, mejo di ko siya feel kasi prang ang yabang ng dating nya, Tapos naiirita ako kasi text siya ng text sa akin,pag hinde ko naman sinagot tatawag naman at ilolowbat ako,so ayun nirereplayan ko na.

HellWeek na nila so formation ulit and andun ako pra iobserve at kilalanin un mga co-neos ko, palage nya ako tinitignan tapos magssmile, siyempre naiirita nanaman ako kasi prang feeling pogi siya at tsaka hinde ko naman siya type ano..

The first time na nagkasama kame, naalala ko pa that time after ng finals namen sa APB-APZ mga July 28,2012 Saturday yun, buong gabi kame nagkukwentuhan, tawanan, tapos tlgang hinde kame natulog, getting to know each other talaga from 12am up to 5am yun.. 

Hanggang sa dumating un point na araw-araw na kame magkasama, sabay kame naglulunch, minsan papasok ako ng maaga kahit afternoon pa class ko para lang makasabay siya, tapos after class nya or class ko madalas yun pupuntahan pa nya ako sa dorm ny friend ko, aayain magmeryenda or magdinner tapos ihahatid pauwe.

Nung una parang wala lang sakin yun, pero natutuwa ako sa effort na pinapakita nya sa akin, pagkauwe ko sa bahay magtetext siya,tapos bago matulog tatawagan nya ako, then sa morning tatawag pa din siya at magtetext, So eventually na gain nya yun trust ko at nag oopen na ako sa kanya ng past relationships ko, family problems etc.

Month of September, naalala ko nagpasama siya sa akin para pumili ng isusuot nya for Medicine Night, ako nagdecide ng isusuot niya as in from top to toe ako talaga,  Nakakatuwa lang kasi, He really trust my sense of Fashion,
Tapos kinabukasan bumalik ulit kami ng mall with my friends naman para bilhin na nun isusuot nya plus the scarf ako pa din pumili, So ayun nun time na nakauwe na ako.. I don't know pero hindi ko mapigilan na magsmile, para lang akong tanga as in walang reason, walang nakakatawa pero nakasmile ako.. 

Kinabukasan ng Med Night, kame magkasama syempre w/ my friends, Bar-hopping so ayun masaya sobra, Nung nakauwe na ako ng bahay wala pa kame 1hour na nagkakahiwalay na mimiss ko na siya, Dun ko narealize na.. Oh My God.. Mahal ko na ata siya.. Iba na yun pakiramdam sobrang masaya na kinikilig ako..

September 27, advance celebration ng birthday ko, siyempre kasama siya pati un mga friends ko, Naalala ko nun 12am ng 28th siya yun unang bumati, so kilig nanaman...

Month of October nalalapit na ang sembreak ayun mamimiss ko siya,mamimiss namen ang isat isa, 2-weeks kame hindi nagkita, walang araw na hinde kame magkatext, or hinde siya tatawag at magkachat pa kame sa Facebook.. Never kame nawalan ng communication, alam nya kung asan ako, sino kasama ko or kung ano ginagawa ko.. In short may Mutual Understanding na.. Commitment nalang kulang..

December, that time Christmas Party ng APB-APZ so num morning andun lang kame naghang- out sa dorm nya at nag general cleaning kame, naapreciate naman nya yun effort na ginawa ko for him, tapos nun gabi na magkasama kame sa party at nagpunta pa ng tagaytay.. siyempre kahit sembreak na gumawa pa din siya ng way para magkasama kame, nagkita kameng dalawa at nagdinner sa mall.

14th January 2013 nalate yun christmas gift nya sa akin na otterbox nun blackberry ko, sobrang nakakatouch lang kasi effort yung paghahanap nya nun..tapos every afternoon pag may time or pag hinde kame toxic mag jogging or badminton kame, naisip namen dalawa magpapayat eh, so ayun yung bonding namen dalawa.

Mga third week ng January naguguluhan na ako,gusto ko na umamin sa naaramdaman ko sa kanya, talagang nararamdaman ko na mahal na mahal ko na siya, pero hinde ko alam kung papano nahihiya ako,So I asked my friends kung tama ba gagawin ko.. Then yun since napaka supportive naman nila sa akin, I made a plan so ayun bumili ako ng simple na paper clip na made of wood, nagsearch ako pra medyo unique yun gagawin ko at para mas maapreciate at matouch siya sa akin. When you open the paper clip may small note ako na nilagay na "I Love You". So yun usapan namin ng mga friends ko sa valentines ko na ibibigay, pero yun iba sabi before valentines, naguguluhan na ako nun..

1st week of February sure na ako na ibibigay ko na yun ginawa ko, bahala na, lulunukin ko na yun pride ko masabi ko lang yun totoong nararamdaman ko for him, That afternoon nagpunta ako sa dorm nya, nuod kame t.v.. tapos nagkey-board siya then duet kame sa pagkanta, binigay ko na sa kanya..
ayun binasa na nya..medyo natigilan siya.. then nun nabasa na niya sinabi niya sa akin na, 
" Wow, ang ganda. thank you ha?.. Itatago ko ito at iingatan.." I dunno kung ano yun irereact ko, Yes! Masakit, nagulat din ako eh, di ko ineexpect na ganun yun sasabihin niya, after all ng napagdaanan namen ganun lang?.. What the f*ck??? Siyempre smile lang ako nun at sinabi ko "Welcome, hatid mo na ako kina Zy".. Deep inside naiiyak na ako, ang sakit-sakit gusto ko sumabog, pero hinde tlaga, I acted as If wala lang, nagpunta pa nga kame Batangas parang wala lang nangyare.. 

After that day hindi muna ako nagparamdam sa kanya for 3days, Pero ayun nag BBM siya sa akin, Since mahal ko tlaga siya at hinde ko matiis reply naman ako sa kanya na parang wala lang ngyare. Oo andun yun pain, pero kasi mahal ko andito na ako sa situation na ito, nsa period pa din aq ng denial eh..

Hanggang sa napagusapan na namen na awkward daw pag naging kame,sinabi nya sa akin na my mga lalake pa naman na magmamahal sa akin tpos puro compliment naman siya usual na bola nya sa akin.. siyempre since love ko siya at ayaw ko mawala siya sa akin, bahala na baka marealize din nya na mahal niya din ako..

This March medyo napapadalas na yun tampuhan, nagkakainisan na din.. Magulo na, away-bati, away-bati, sobrang nasasaktan na ako sa mga issues na naririnig ko,sa mga nalilink sa kanya na mga babae, mga rumors sa kanya.. Oo napaka sakit pero tinitiis ko yun kasi nga mahal na mahal ko siya..

Hanggang sa ganito na nga di ko na kaya yun pain, kagabi nagdecide na ako na tama na, yung effort, yung time ko binigay ko sa kanya, isang text lang nya sakin makikipagkita na ako sa kanya..

Malaki na pinagbago niya, Hindi na siya yun dati, narealize ko na pina-fall lang niya ako sa lahat lahat ng ginagawa nya, Hinde niya pala kaya makipag commit sa akin, nung nakuha na niya ako nagbago na siya..

Bakit ganun?.. I don't deserve to be treated like this, ginawa ko lahat para sa kanya, minahal ko siya ng sobra, sana nung una palang, sinabi na niya sa akin na hinde pala niya kaya makipag commit sa akin sana tinapos nalang niya lahat ng ito..
Di sana hinde ako nasasaktan ng ganito, Sana hinde na siya nagpakita ng malasakit sa akin, Di sana hinde ako umasa, hinde ko hinanap hanap yun gingawa nya sa akin na pageffort sa akin dati..

Tama na, sobra na yun ginawa ko para sa kanya.. Kelangan ko na tapusin ito ang sakit-sakit na talaga, mas okay na ganito na yun gawin ko kesa matagalan pa yung sakit na nararamdaman ko..

Oo Mahal na Mahal ko pa din siya, pero tama na, pipilitin ko makalimutan siya.. 
Salamat pa din kasi nakilala ko siya at sa maikling panahon napasaya niya ako ng sobra..


Kris..

Hurt!!

It's really hard to explain, really :'(

I've been inlove to this person for more than 5 months, When we're together I really feel comfortable, he can make me feel happy whenever I'm down, He's always there for me, I thought he feels the same way too.. 

I gave him a simple gift w/ a simple message telling how much I love him. I'm really surprised because, I didn't expect that kind of reaction, I feel really bad, just ignore the whole thing, because I don't want to end that day crying, I told to myself, after that day I'll try to forget him..  I love him, But I think it's enough, I don't wanna get hurt again, I took the risk by telling him how I feel, that's enough it's not worth it.. I guess that this is the end of our love story..

Thanks to him.. </3
I still love him..

^Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow, fall in order to know,lose in order to gain. And sometimes we have to be broken so we can be whole again^

Krissy.. ;,(

Goodbye 2012.. Hello 2013

I know that the year 2012 was only a preparation for me to face more challenges in the future. All high and even the low points in my life had made me the person that I am today. It was definitely a roller coaster ride and a whirlwind of emotions. All that I can say is.. I will bid goodbye to 2012 with ^NO REGRETS, ONLY A BRIGHT PLANS AHEAD^

                                         Ciao 2012!!
                                  Welcome 2013^^


Till next post..

MissKrissyLav :)

This Feeling of mine

I'm going to look him in the eye, smile and say Thank you.. It's because even if he's not mine his always there for me, take good care of me, love me with all of his heart.. If he could just know what I feel, Everytime I'm w/ him, I feel secure, his hugs and kisses are the best,and everytime I'm not w/ him I miss him every second.. 

He's lovable,his eyes makes my heart melt..I feel safe when I'm w/ him, I know it might sound corny and vague, People always talk about feeling safe w/ someone and you wonder what it even means, Hmmmmm. I don't really know. All I know is that I feel I'm w/ my angel.. hehe :))

Yes, I'm in love w/ him but I'm not obsessed. This is a distinction worth of nothing. In the past, I would confused obsession w/ love..I'm in love w/ him because were equal, We're on the same page, We have lots of things in common.. hmmmmm, unlike obsession w/c is erratic.

I Love him because he's my icing on my cake. Eeeeew, see how corny I am when I'm in love?.. Yeah! love makes my world go round... It's refreshing to not be so self conscious about my behavior when I'm w/ him.. because he accepts me for who I am, being so gaga and loka-loka when I'm w/ him, maybe nasanay na siya w/ that kind of attitude of mine.. hehe :D

I Love Loving him sooo much w/ all of my heart..

Till next post..
waiting for perfect time...
perfect place...
waiting for 2013...
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

KrissyInLoveWith--- 

I'm ready!! hmmmmm..

Have you ever come to a point where you don't know what to do next? hmmmm.. Sometimes? Most of the time?  Every time??..

I hope I'm not the only one who experienced it. (Anyways it's just an assumption?. At least I'm still normal.. hehe..

Every year, I try to set a goal for myself. It's either I will be hooked to a new hobby like (Traveling, reading novels or magazines, to try photography, or to work for a summer job) or just go shopping and I even change my set of clothes because when you open my closet you'll just see pink stuffs, nothing but pink..hehehe.. I will make sure my "ipon" will be zero out by the end of the year.

Ok here it is.. dami ko pa paligoy-ligoy sorry naman.. :D

When I say, knowing what to do next is doing something for someone. Being someone to that special someone..

Yes That's true.. ^I'M VERY MUCH IN-LOVE^.. to whom?? SECRET!! I hope he's not reading this..

Signs that I'm In-LOVE w/ Him: 

*Because everytime I'm w/ Him my heart junps and I get a rush throughout my body that I cannot explain.

*When someone says his name I get a huge smile on my face.

*Sometimes when I'm sitting in my class, I catch myself dazzling & thinking about him replaying pieces of our conversation in my mind & laughing at little things he did or I said :DD

*When I get around him there are so many things, I want to tell him and It always end up saying ^Yngat ka^ or ^I miss you^.. nakakahiya lang kasi eh..

*When I get around him, I feel calm and peaceful & nothing really matters.

*All I want to do is to look into his eyes & I love it when he wraps his arms around me and holds me, Smoetimes I don't want him to let me go.

*Everytime I have to say goodbye, I wish there was one more minute left, that I could spend w/ him & hug him.

I'm not getting any younger. No one does, I hope he's the one for me, Someone whom I can call my destiny. Sounds cheesy right?.. Ganyan talaga in love na ako eh.. :))

But I don't care kahit maging corny pa ako. Because I know that I'm ready to fall in love again.

Till next blog..

Happily.. inlove

 KrisLav***

Being Kris

Certain things about My Style:

- I hate wearing pants except for leggings. I only wear it when it's required and when I'm going to school and attend Saturday classes.
- I have really long hair and I never had it short except when I was a small kid.
- Action films bore me to death.
- I don't understand basketball, sorry guys :(
- I'm such a tearjerker it's not even normal anymore. I cry at every sad movie like One more chance.
- I collect bags and accessories. I have 63 bags in my cabinet and 79 pair of earrings,I started collecting this kikay things way back in 2007.
- I own lots of dresses, and Since I have a small body frame I used to buy them in Teen's section.
- I'm not a strong drinker. Expect me to pass out after 5 bottles, I think?.
- I'm not a computer techie., Believe me. I make the most boring power point presentation in our class.
- Obviously I like the color Pink, along w/ hearts, star or skull with a combination of color black plus glittery bitz.
- I adore hello kitty since birth.
- I super love make-up. When you say make-up it's not the heavy ones.. I prefer eyeliner, face powder and lipstick even loose powder will do.. It's perfect try it!!
- I played barbie and polly pocket when I was little. Lots of them actually.
- I can do scary voices.. hahaha :x
- Coco Martin is my Boyfriend #Charot..He's my ultimate crush and I Love him soooo much.
- I'm exceptionally bad at sports
- I love reading chic-lit & romantic novels.
- One of my favorite phrase is..  " Busy ba kayo?.. gala tayo malling lang" hehehe.. Magastos much!!



Are you convinced yet? Well, that's me. Most the people think that I'm maarte but I don't see it that way. I'm just a girl, A Princess. I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. Call me superficial because bags makes me happy. Call me maarte if you want because I won't go out without my whole face made up. But I believe that's how every woman should be.

xoxoKrissyxoxo